My friends, they love my intelligence
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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