Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
now i know why i became what i already was.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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