the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
