in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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