Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i think my cat just said my name.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
