he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
