he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
