Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
