Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
