"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
