I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
