Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
