Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
