3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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