I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
