def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
