I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
