Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
