just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Randomize
