With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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