Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When did we convert life to cartoon?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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