i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
whose parrot is this?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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