when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
