How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
