Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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