i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
