That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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