We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
