how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
