well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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