Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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