oh god the rape fog is back!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
