i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
