The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
