You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
