we have officially lost it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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