i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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