We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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