Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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