The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk is not a location!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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