there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
