oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
