escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
