awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
