So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
