I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sober January is a disaster.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
