This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
