i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
