Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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