Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
