Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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