Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
