Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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