Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
