What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
