Pants 0. Shit 1.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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