are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
