I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
