Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
