you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
