I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
