We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize