it wasn't lemon gatorade
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
