let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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