can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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