I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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