I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
