We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
